The E-Guru of Our Time!


Last night I decided to write a blog! (Yes, my dear readers, this is my maiden step in this giant virtual field.) So, being a beginner, I was engulfed with numerous questions. What should I write about? Or, what exactly is it that you readers out there would like to devote your time to? Would you love to read some filmy gossips? Or, some informative article on travel or technology? Or, something about the current Geopolitical warfare waging around the globe?

After scratching my head for a long time, I turned to my guide, guru, who never hesitates to help me (provided I have enough bars on my phone). Our very own Google Baba! And voila! The brilliant idea struck me. Why don’t I blabber about the Baba, the Guru itself?

You see, one can find hundreds of mystics, popularly called Guru, or Baba (if male), who are believed to be spiritually or astrologically enlightened and are there to help others with their problems. So people rush to them with a list of their sorrows. There’s no specific genre; Son’s unemployment, husband’s ailment, family dispute, daughter’s marriage, lost love, board exams… everything counts. And with a calm face, the Guru suggests a solution, just like Google does for millions of us. Many would argue that Google is just an accumulation of immense knowledge under one umbrella. But isn’t that’s what’s needed to be a mentor: immense knowledge?

The reason why I am making this comparison is the change in people’s expectations in last decade. Why do you think people Google something? Is it merely to search for facts and information? Definitely that is one side. A student having problem with his history project will surely need Google. A mother searching for best schools in the area; Google to the rescue. Looking for best jobs? Google it out. Shopping? Google. Dining? Google. Whether to get into a relationship? Goo… Wait a sec!

How can someone take such decisions by browsing on some articles? It may sound a bit weird to many, including me, but that is what is trending. Before doing anything or taking any important decision, Google is the place where millions of people look in for advice. You can find ample of ‘how to…’ articles on Google or ‘How to..’ videos on YouTube (another contemporary virtual Guru). Last night, I just typed the words ‘Top how to…’  in the Google search tab and the next second Google suggested me: ‘Top how to searches in 2016’, ‘ Top how to searches in 2015’, and so on.  And I was so amazed to see the variety of things people look for. There was a site which listed many such searches. ‘How to play Pokemon Go?’ (Relevant Question!), ‘How to become rich in seven days?(we all search for that), ‘How to move to Canada?’(Half of Punjab knows it), ‘How to kiss?’ (Really! I mean this “perfectionist” isn’t leaving anything for hormonal rush. I wonder what would happen if things go out of syllabus), ‘How to make slime?’(God knows why) and so on. After browsing a little more, I came across another list of popular questions asked on Google. That includes: ‘When will I die?’ (!!!!), ‘Does farting burn calories?’ (Trillion dollar Question!), ‘Does my bum look 40?’(Trillion to the power infinity), ‘Is the Earth flat?’(Did I just time travelled to 500 B.C.? Aristotle there yet?).

So Google is no more just a library. It is a counsellor for some, doctor for many, soothsayer for few. In other words, a problem solver. A Guru. There are plenty of people who Google out ‘10 ways to choose your life partner’ before replying to a proposal. Many guys scour the internet to make themselves more attractive. Why do you think Google gets so much attention?Just go back 15-20 years. Where/what/to whom do you think people turned to to clarify all these massive problems of their daily lives? Talking to friends, taking suggestions from family, maybe. With the increasing social isolation and departure from the real world, Google is emerging out to be the best friend, philosopher and guide to many.

Talking of Google, I couldn’t help but steer your attention to another side of it that I discovered last night. These are more of a conspiracy theory (and I love them). So two of my favourite  theories are:

  1. Spy agencies(FBI/CIA/NSA type of guys) are using Google to have a close look on you. I mean all of you. Remember that scene in Captain America- The Winter Soldier, where the bald headed villain admits that Hydra has developed some algorithm which can track your emails, bank records, voting patterns and tell whether you are suitable for them or not? Or better example, Snowden, the movie obviously. If you haven’t watched it yet, go for it. Right NOW! Okay, leave it. Another ground to justify that- you know China, the emerging superpower, has banned Facebook, Google and instead of that they have some homemade platforms like Baidu. Why do you think they did that? A xenophobic move? A ‘Make in China’ campaign? Or…. something Fishy?!
  2. Another theory (bit too much) suggests that Google, with so much coding and so much knowledge, can become self aware.  They say that random strands of programs can combine to form a digital RNA. Something that happened to Smith in Matrix. That means a super powerful, fully independent AI (sounds like Terminator, isn’t it!)


Anyway, whatever may be the assumptions and allegations, one thing we simply cannot deny is that Google has surely, without an ounce of doubt, made our lives way more easier than ever. We are witnessing a Paradigm shift. The way we learn, the way we explore new territory, the way we solve a problem, everything, every minute of our lives reflects the contribution of this Guru. Google has weaved the world into a smaller place. Small enough to fit inside a 40 year old butt pocket!


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